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Vitality Evolution Forums Making Friends How do I make new friends quickly?

  • How do I make new friends quickly?

     Oliver updated 1 year, 10 months ago 6 Members · 6 Posts
  • Anne Gill

    Member
    September 1, 2019 at 2:23 am

    Tips On How Make New Friends Fast?

  • Claudia

    Member
    September 4, 2019 at 6:49 am

    I feel like I’m professionally qualified to answer this question. I have been to 6 schools in 12 years, and change was an ubiquitous part of my life

    Here are a few things I did in each place that helped me cope better.

    1. Be polite. Always – People will be curious, and since they’re just kids after all, will ask the darnedest questions. They might even belittle you and your previous school, and make all sorts of rude assumptions, but answer everything with a smile and tactful silence, at worst. Learn to pick your battles – this isn’t home turf, and it’s important you find your bearing before you radically oppose someone.

    2. Be nonchalant – Make sure you at least appear self-possessed even when your insides are churning. Do not let yourself be an easy target – there are always a few bullies in every class, who’ll pick on the new kid, and can actually smell fear. Smile a lot and be enthusiastic when anyone approaches you, and try and be comfortable and engaged with yourself if and when you find nobody talking to you. It’s a phase – it’ll pass.

    3. Be proactive – This is a two-fold process. First, identify your strengths and make sure you display them when you join your new class. If you’re good at academic, make sure you ace your tests. If you play basketball well, participate enthusiastically in gym class and give your best performance. Find your niche – people in general will be attracted to you and like-minded people will take you in their fold. Secondly, try and identify a few kids who seem nice, but don’t necessarily have a lot of freinds – then go and talk to them. Ask them for help, and take tips from them about how you can best navigate your new school. Most kids, individually, are very friendly, but people in cliques are normally not very inviting towards new-comers. That’s okay – respect their reserve and be friends with the kids on the fringes.

    4. Be patient – People take time to adjust to change, and the larger a group, the longer it’ll take them time to accept you. Don’t be disheartened, and be game to all the incessant queries, polite snubbing, and indifference that characterises the first few days. If you must, approach the class prefect/monitor/president and ask them for help – they’re usually the most well-adjusted kids in a class and will be courteous and cooperative. It’s a new chance for you to set the record straight, and redefine yourself if need be – I know I did, and it worked out fantastically for me.

    I wish you all the best!

  • Eric Coleman

    Member
    October 19, 2019 at 12:55 am

    Well.. Nobody can say that better than me i feel. My dad is in the Indian army and well… in India we used to travel a LOT! Each year we would go to different cities. YES it was hectic, shifting house, moving places and then travelling so much was really a tiresome process.

    I was not born in India, I have a Canadian residency. We moved to India later on.. so yeah its a huge story! what i was worried about the most was going to new school. I was so used to Canada that the whole atmosphere here was so different and new to me. Everyone made fun of my accent calling me fake. So like what normal teenagers do, I turned to the internet. Facebook, Instagram was too mainstream. I tried bumble… too much of an effort that was. And Tinder of course, everyone judged me based on my looks again, not that i was not confident about how I look but there is more to me than just my face and body is what I felt.

    At a point I thought let me ask someone to set me up on a Blind date, then luckily I came across an app called BlindMeet, of course I was confused and skeptical about using it but it had a decent rating and good reviews. We had currently shifted to Bangalore. The meeting spots were public and safety was the first priority and guarantee of the app. So i used it.

    It had 3 modes- Friendship, Dating and Networking, I wasnt really sure what I wanted but i went about choosing Friendship.

    I lived some 5 blocks from a mall and when i used the app, not to my surprise i got the mall itself, Central mall. I went there and guess what I actually got a girl as my match. I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy because its more safe that I got a girl, sad because it was not a guy I wanted a friend from the opposite gender as I studied in a girls convent.

    We both were chalk & cheese, I am a very girly girl and she was a tomboy. We went to play games had a good time. She knew nothing about me and i felt like a plain paper and I could write my story however I wanted to, and I wasn’t judged at all. She never pin-pointed my accent and she liked me for me. We exchanged numbers and our social-media profiles and we are good friends till date. She became my go to person i could confide in, tell all my problems to. I found a good friend.

    Thanks to BlindMeet. I found a good friend through an app. Try it. Who knows you might just get lucky like me!!

  • Penelope

    Member
    October 22, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    If you want to make new friends, then stop waiting for people to come to you and be friends with you.

    You go to the people.

    Talk with them.

    Find out some common interests by just asking questions and openly sharing your experiences and also by listening to them.

    You should also give genuine appreciation. I would repeat genuine. Fake appreciation does not work. First of all notice everything that you really like about the opposite person and then appreciate them for that. Remember don’t appreciate all at once. Don’t tell everything in one moment. Tell them one by one. Orelse the person would run away from you.

    It also depends on the opposite person’s personality. If they are introvert by nature then just be with them. Start to spend time and hang out with them because you need to give them time to open up to you. If the person is extrovert by nature then it will not be a problem.

    If you are introvert then too go to talk with people.

    Making new friends is not a very difficult thing to do. Because always remember they are also in search of people to talk to and be friends with someone. So why not you start with it.

  • Alexander Clarkson

    Member
    December 29, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    It is not always a good idea to make friends quickly and I will tell you why.

    Ahem.

    I joined Facebook in 2010. My son was one year old, I worked a full time job, and my SO worked 12–14 hour shifts so he was never home.

    On Facebook there was a mommy group that I found and became very involved with. There I met a few girls my age who were kind of in the same friendless situation that I was in. One of them was named Monica. She was tall and blonde, and had sparkling blue eyes. She had a 6 month old baby girl, and a 2 year old boy.

    We found ourselves messaging each other all day, every day. She was funny, very open, and easy going. Our friendship was growing fast, and soon we were talking about meeting up.

    The day was finally here and she came over to my apartment (I know. I was stupid, but she was safe). We talked and laughed, while our kids played together. She was awesome and just what I had imagined her to be.

    Our next gathering was with our SOs. We had a double date and I met her spouse who was just as chill.

    Then, she kind of stopped talking to me. Our good morning texts were not sent, our playful banter was nonexistent, and she stopped sharing personal details about her life. All this was replaced with random texts telling me, “Out with some guy, but told hubby I was with you.” Or, “Hey girl, text me: Let’s meet up at (insert time).”

    Seemed sneaky, but not my business, until one day I received a message from her husband on Facebook at 1 a.m. He asked me what time were we going to come back and why wasn’t Monica answering her phone? It was late and he was really worried.

    I did not know what to do. I was disappointed at Monica and had not been warned by her this time, so I too was worried.

    I did not reply. But then an hour later he sent another message. “Is Monica really with you?”

    He knew. I replied with a simple no.

    The following day Monica unfriended me from Facebook.

    Here is my theory. She had no friends (like me) but she had a lover on the side. Obviously she needed an excuse to go see him. She quickly made an unbeknownst friend (me), and introduced me to her husband so that he will make sure I am safe and approve of me for outings with her.

    Once he met and approved of me, she was finally able to go out with her lover while pretending to be with me. Smart cookie, ain’t she?

    Oh well.

    To summarize, you can quickly make friends through social media. Join groups with topics that you enjoy, participate, and be careful of who you befriend.

  • Oliver

    Member
    January 9, 2020 at 6:49 pm

    Making friends when you’re young can be as simple as sharing a toy or deciding that we’re suddenly “best friends.” But the older we get, the significantly less straightforward it becomes — at least it can feel that way. It’s probably been a while since many of us had to put ourselves out there. We might feel out of practice and, at the very least, a little confused about what we should actually say to someone we’d like to get to know better.

    There isn’t one right way to approach someone you want to be friends with, but here are a few ideas that might help.

    1. Highlight a similarity

    Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” – C.S. Lewis

    It’s true what they say; the root of friendship is often an underlying similarity, whether it’s a shared interest, hobby, or sense of humor. That’s why pointing out something you have in common is a great way to approach someone you want to be friends with. Commenting on your shared love of hiking, sushi, or jazz music shows that you’re paying attention to and are interested in the other person and can set the stage for future conversations and outings, and a friendship. The key is to not force it. Avoid exaggerating and don’t try to be someone you’re not. Noticing and highlighting genuine similarities will not only make you feel more comfortable approaching someone, it’ll also help you come across as authentic and increases the chances that you’ll actually hit it off.

    2. Ask them a question

    Asking someone a question is another option. But if you really want to have a chance at sparking an actual conversation, it’s best to avoid questions about the current time or weather. Come up with thoughtful, open-ended questions, ones that you actually care about learning the answers to. Ask for a specific restaurant recommendation, a new workout class, or the best nearby cafe to work from. If it’s someone you know a little bit, ask for feedback on something you’ve written or created. These kinds of questions show that you have an interest in the other person’s opinion, which suggests that you trust them. They also give a glimpse into your own personality and make follow-up conversations — like chatting about how that exercise class went or even suggesting that you go to one together — a little easier!

    3. Pay them a compliment

    Compliments from strangers or people we don’t know that well can be so powerful. They are often unexpected and deeply appreciated. That’s why it can be such an impactful way to approach someone we want to be better friends with. It might feel easier to compliment the things that are obvious, like physical appearance or style, but if you feel up to it, make it something a little more personal. Compliment their work ethic, creativity, insightful comment, compassion, or great laugh. Explain what you love about it and why it moves you. These kinds of genuine, perceptive compliments are the ones that stick with us. And moving beyond the superficial can make people feel seen and heard in ways that really foster connection and friendship.

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    The one caveat: When it comes to compliments, it’s best to avoid going overboard. Usually, the more you give, the more insincere they can start to feel. And ideally, most of us want friendships that are based on balance and equality, not adulation.

    4. Offer help

    One of the main things that separates good friends from casual acquaintances is the ongoing emotional, practical, and social support. That’s why letting someone know that you’re there if they need help, (e.g., solving a problem with a school or work assignment, or even with some heavy lifting) is a great away to approach them and subtly let them know that you’re interested in being friends. This can work out especially well if you’re able to work together toward a common goal (e.g., like train together for an upcoming race). Sometimes, offering tangible support or having a concrete goal in mind can make it easier to approach someone in the hopes of becoming better friends.

    5. Use humor

    This approach isn’t for everyone, and it can be harder to pull off if it’s not something you’re used to. It’s not about knock-knock jokes and it’s definitely not about trying to show off your wit or charm. It actually has very little to do with impressing someone else and everything to do with trying to make both of you feel more at ease. Sharing a lighthearted comment or joke, your penchant (pun-chant?) for puns, or your tendency to be self-deprecating gives the other person a glimpse of your personality and can be a great way to connect. Just remember, it’s best to avoid putting someone else down, even in a joking way. And don’t be too hard on yourself if your humor doesn’t land. At the very least it can be a helpful litmus test for seeing whether you can bond over your sense of humor!

    6. Be upfront

    This last strategy is the one that can make us feel the most vulnerable. It’s hard to put yourself out there and to worry about possibly being rejected. But when you feel like you have the most to lose, you most definitely have the most to gain. If you’ve had only brief interactions with someone you want to get to know better, it’s absolutely okay to share that you’re looking to meet new people and that you’ve really enjoyed the conversations you’ve had so far. Being direct about your desire to make new friends doesn’t have to be a big scary thing. Casually let them know that you’d be happy to chat again or get together in a different context (e.g., “Hey! I really enjoyed our conversation! Any chance you’re open to grabbing a coffee sometime?” or “I actually just moved here and don’t really know anyone. I’d love to find a time to hang out and maybe go for a walk together!”). People are often far more receptive to this than we expect. They might even be relieved that you made the first move!

    Regardless of whether you are upfront about the fact that you’d like to be better friends or prefer a more subtle approach, keep in mind that it is a process. It takes time, patience, vulnerability, and repetition — which means plenty of opportunities to practice these different approaches!!!

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